fiendish plan

I have a fiendish plan of what to Do With Myself when I Grow Up. I don't really want to go into detail too much for fear of jinxing anythings, but needless to say, this plan is very, very me and will be very, very difficult.

In the process of deciding to do this I've discovered a few interesting things about myself.

1) It took me two or three years to figure out that this was something I wanted to do. Many people (parents, friends, Matt, and even me) have suggested this line of thought before, but I guess I needed to be good and ready before I'd agree to it. Man, am I stubborn!

2) I'm letting my fear of screwing up keep me from acting. I spend a lot of time looking at how scary this path is and then not doing much about it. Then a friend calls, or something like that, and they tell me how exciting it is that I'm pursuing this plan, or they remind me how great an idea it is, and I charge in again. Today I'm looking at all of the steps I need to take first and it's looking like a big, gigantic, expensive thing.